A first-time mother, Seema Kazi Rangnekar was scared. It was only after giving birth that she realised she was not the only one. She was frightened due to lack of knowledge and the many preconceptions surrounding pregnancy. She also realised how little continued support mothers-to-be had during this period. So, she thought of building a support system for mommies and daddies traversing these uncharted territories.
Seema left her corporate job of 16+ years and founded Sama Birthing and Beyond ten years back. An internationally-certified Childbirth Educator from CAPPA and certified HUG trainer, Seema has since been helping parents to understand themselves and their babies. She talks to Siddhi Gandhi about using her past experience to start a new journey, creating awareness about a highly misinformed topic and debunking preconceptions naturally.
From being a senior manager in a corporate firm to becoming a pregnancy counselor, how did you start your journey for Sama Birthing and Beyond?
The journey started during my first pregnancy. At that time, I was clear on giving birth naturally, without medical intervention. However, advice from my friends and family was overwhelming. I was scared and ended up delivering my daughter at a medical facility. In spite of having attended pregnancy classes, I didn’t really have the emotional support to help me follow through on my decision. Like me, there were many women who were clueless about pregnancy or the delivery options they had. There were hardly any support groups for pregnant women that talked about delivery and postpartum period.
My experience motivated me to reach out to other mothers and mothers-to-be. So, I completed my training as a childbirth counselor, then a lactation counselor. I also did a few courses on bonding with babies and understanding the language of the newborn. These programs allow me to support my moms throughout their journey, right from preconception to postpartum and beyond!
What was the initial response to your service offering? What challenges did you face while setting up Sama Birthing and Beyond?
Initially, there was a varied response. Not everyone was convinced that they needed special classes for pregnant mothers. Some even thought that a pregnant woman should just rest and not do any kind of exercise. Mostly it was the mother, mothers-in-law or other elder women of the family who were not keen on the whole idea. The husbands were not very keen on these classes either. Initially, I used to have moms who had registered without informing their family members. But both parents need to be equally involved. Pregnancy is a natural process and husband’s should know what to do to support their wife. While earlier pregnancy was seen as a mother’s world and her job, today even the father’s are contributing. They are taking up household chores and showing as much support as possible to their wives. I now have father’s who come and enrol themselves for the sessions.
How receptive were doctors? Over time, has their reception changed?
Doctors and medical practitioners are trained in a certain way. Sometimes, what they tell the mothers may differ from what we have told them. And in our country, the first reaction is to go to the doctor. However, the doctors that we have interacted with so far are patient and listen to the mother’s wishes. And that is what truly matters at the end of the day. There have been times when we need a doctor during delivery, but that is only during medical emergencies. Overall, the perception towards pregnancy and pregnancy classes is changing.
Pregnancy is still a challenging topic in many homes. According to you, what are some common pregnancy preconceptions and misconceptions?
People wrongly assume that women should do nothing but eat and rest during their pregnancy. Pregnancy is all about being physically active. While women should not strain themselves, they need to walk or do yoga. Secondly, every pregnancy is different. What may work for one mother, may not work for the other. Therefore, instead of being overwhelmed by information online or blindly following what they are told, pregnant mothers should consult a childcare educator to understand themselves and their pregnancy.
Pregnancy shown on TV or in movies looks like a breeze, but it is not so. You cannot naturally know what to do and what not to do during pregnancy or childbirth or even after that. Many first-time mothers think they will naturally know how to breast-feed or feel connected to their child as soon as they are born. However, it takes time. Therefore, they need a plan. I always advise my mothers to plan their pregnancy well in advance, understand how it will change their future and prepare accordingly to avoid future complications.
Another preconception is that labour is scary, and mothers enter the delivery room with that mindset. This could be more stressful for them and can affect their labour. And there is almost no awareness of the postpartum period and how it can be challenging. That is why they need to plan everything out beforehand, understand what they would need to do, decide on how they want to give birth and be as calm as possible during the delivery.
Do social, economic and cultural variables impact your interactions from family to family?
They do play a variable. I have noticed that women from different social and economic backgrounds have different attitudes toward pregnancy. I visit the slums as part of the Sama Birthing and Beyond NGO initiative. The women there are more active, and hence they do not find it too strenuous to give birth. There the conversation does not revolve around natural birth, but more around healthcare and safety. These women are much more in tune with the changes in their body. For them having a baby is a very natural process.
On the other side of the spectrum, I have mothers coming from influential families, highly literate backgrounds, afraid of being able to adjust to the situation. For some, the more information they get, the scarier they find the situation. It is difficult for them to filter out unnecessary details. A mother once called me as she was afraid her baby would be born with a down syndrome. She was told by her doctor that she had excessive amniotic fluid, and on googling the term, she found that excessive amniotic fluid may result in down syndrome. Many are also scared that pregnancy would be the end of their career. The job market is still not friendly towards women who rejoin after a long break. I have heard stories where women had to give up well-paying jobs after becoming pregnant.
I am not saying that people from lower economic backgrounds have an advantage over those who are well off. It is just that they are more comfortable. I cannot stress how much a mother needs to be aware of her comfort during the days of pregnancy. Her happiness matters the most. If she is happy, her baby will be happy and healthy.
As a pregnancy counselor, you are required to communicate with both the parents and sometimes even give suggestions that they may not agree on. How do you handle such situations?
By being patient and understanding. Pregnancy scares people. Even if it is their second or third child, parents are still worried about many things. Especially mothers, because pregnancy can be stressful both mentally and physically. You have information pouring in from everywhere and at such times the most important thing is to listen to them. There are times when I do get difficult parents, so I use facts to convince them. I ask them to do what they are comfortable with and think of the mother’s health and happiness. Babies can feel their mother’s stress and react to their emotions. I tell them that they are not alone in this situation and I will always be there to help them out. It is reassuring to know that you have someone to talk to about your problems.
Every household sees the role of a pregnancy counselor in different ways. Some say doula, midwife and dai ma and some prefer lactation consultant or coach. Are these different? What roles do they play before, during and after childbirth?
Yes, they have different roles. The communication largely depends on which role they are playing and during which period of the pregnancy. I, for example, am a prenatal and postnatal fitness consultant and a childbirth educator. I hold special sessions for couples to understand about pregnancy and parenting. Basically, a childbirth educator can be with the mother from preconception, as well as help the parents make a birth plan and may also provide prenatal and postnatal services.
A doula’s role is to guide you through your labour and birthing. She is someone who will tell the mother to breathe, guide them through the exercise to help with the labour and make it as comfortable as possible. Basically support the mother, while a midwife delivers the baby. Lactation consultants come into picture when the mother starts milking or breastfeeding. They help the mother and educate them on how to breastfeed when to breastfeed, what food they should and should not eat.
The pandemic has become more challenging for pregnant women and new mothers. How do you reach out to them and help them navigate through these uncharted waters?
I was conducting online sessions even before the pandemic broke out and the lockdown was announced. Also, I have always been available through call or message. So, connectivity was not an issue. Yes, there were times when I got calls from parents that they missed the offline sessions and initially it was a struggle for many to adjust. But it was largely because they had to now balance their work, family and the sessions. I have created different WhatsApp groups for each term, and the moms on it are always ready to help each other out. But however smooth the online sessions go, I do miss meeting all the parents!
Apart from the communication, COVID-19 came with a different challenge for us. One of the mom’s I know tested positive and it was a nightmare for her, as she did not have anyone to look after her. It was depressing for her. We tried to be there for her as much as possible through calls or messages. But, it is not the same as being physically present to support them. There is always underlying anxiety when it comes to caring for mothers and babies. At the beginning of the lockdown, many moms were afraid to visit the doctor or even let their family members go out, for the fear of contracting the virus. These have been taxing times, and I am glad that my community of moms had each other for moral support.
Initially, what was your primary avenue for telling people about your services? Which tools do you rely on to reach out to prospective customers?
I started with Facebook. The fact that I had corporate experience came into handy, as I was able to get into the nitty-gritty of the business quite easily. I also had some experience with design applications, which made making creatives for social media easier. I also have a close friend to help me out with the visuals.
Most of the people that come to me today are through word of mouth. And it is rewarding to know that the mothers I have taught or counseled are happy enough to recommend me to their friends and relatives. I have also come across comments on Facebook or Instagram, where people have recommended my services. I never had to go out of my way to promote my sessions or services offered at Sama Birthing and Beyond. Everything has been pretty much organic. Having said that, social media is a great tool to reach out to people, as long as it is backed by quality work. Let your work do the talking!
People love Sama Birthing and Beyond and it shows the reviews they have posted online. Can you share some of the most rewarding stories?
Yes, I am so glad. I am passionate about what I am doing and it feels great when I see people positively reacting to Sama Birthing and Beyond. I have had parents call me up 3 or 4 years after their child is born to tell me about their child’s progress. Some parents come back for their second or third pregnancies. I have dads call me without telling their wives, to ask about their progress, and what they can do to help and support them. Once I had a father call me to confirm every small information he came across about pregnancy. The funny thing is, his wife used to do the same thing.
It is good to know that I am able to positively impact so many people. And being able to introduce new lives is just cherry on the cake. I remember this incident when one of the moms was pregnant with twins. She had told this to no one except me. Imagine the cheer and surprise when she finally delivered the babies! There are so many stories where the mothers call me right after they have given birth to tell me about how my suggestions helped or how the chanting I asked them to do helped them calm down.
The best part of these experiences is that these mothers have formed their own communities. They discuss anything and everything related to pregnancy. If someone finds a shop with organic baby products, they will post it in the WhatsApp groups, those that are staying in the same area also discuss the schools they are planning to send their child to. And all the moms actively participate in all the discussions. It is amazing to see them form a long-term bond.
Overall, pregnancy is not a taboo, but a natural process. I believe that women need to be sensitised to all the aspects of pregnancy. They need to be comfortable enough to talk to their kids, siblings or even partners about it. Knowledge is power, and they need to be educated and supported throughout the pregnancy, i.e. right from preconception, through conception and after. My aim through Sama Birthing and Beyond has always been to empower mothers-to-be through such knowledge and help them experience this beautiful new phase without fear or trepidation.
Takeaways From the Interview
Empower your pregnancy journeys with facts and experience @samabirthing!